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...WTF  
10:50pm 25/09/2007
 
 
Bean
Yeah, you guessed it. For some idiotic reason or another, I'm posting yet again the day before two tests and a quiz...and there's another test the day after tomorrow. Which is tres difficile... je mourrais si je peux...(My grammar sucks. I don't even know if that's right.)

And I don't know if I'm staying after tomorrow or not for this club. So I'm going to have to bring my textbook anyway. Stupid heavy backbreaking textbooks. Cruel and unusual punishment.

So yeah. It's...almost 11:00PM over here. I'll stop bitching and go dormir.
mood: amusedamused
 
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Meebo  
03:30pm 13/08/2007
 
 
Bean
Augh. It's insane. Just because I clicked the wrong button one litlte time...aaah. oh well. It's not worth the effort to restore/recover my computer...Not going to fix anything, anyway...

Meebo is convenient. Painfully so. Quite annoying, it keeps disconnecting/network interruptioning (if that's even a word).

Huzzah. LJ frank the goat (whatever the hell that is) works.

Progress for the sake of progress is agonizingly slow. Progress for the sake of accomplishment is even slower.
But standstills go by surprisingly quickly.

Go figure.
mood: complacentcomplacent
 
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Gaaaah...  
06:06pm 08/08/2007
 
 
Bean
I'm dead. 
But that's okay, I suppose.

Guess what I have.

------------------------------------

Palilalia

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Palilalia is the repetition or echoing of one's own spoken words,[1] and may sound like stuttering. It is a complex tic, like echolalia and coprolalia.[2] All can be symptoms of Tourette syndrome,[3] Asperger syndrome,[4] or autism.[5]

Palilalia comes from the Greek πάλιν (pálin) meaning "again"[6] and λαλιά (laliá) meaning "babbling, meaningless talk"[7] (from the verb λαλείν (laleín) meaning "to talk").

-------------------------------------------


Didn't know there was a word for it. Hence, the changed journal name. Wherever the Hell it is.

Changed the skin. Byakuya-sama. Haha.
mood: mellowmellow
 
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Computer  
09:59pm 16/06/2007
 
 
Bean
Yeah, I got a Windows Vista. I'm typing on it right now. And a new monitor to boot.

Fun.

But that's not the point. My ISP is crappy as Hell...we're thinking of getting DSL. This is dial-up...so damn slow...but that could just be Norton. 
Damn.

Oh well. Wait for it...wait for it...impatiently...

I used to have a Windows Me (7 long years...haha) I kicked it out. Yay.

I'll be back.
mood: accomplishedaccomplished
 
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TAKS, Harry Potter, and FF  
09:15pm 15/04/2007
 
 
Bean

TAKS testing next week. I'm going to fail the History practice one (that this school oh-so-kindly decided to add) because I'm not taking WD Geo this year, and the one we're taking is over USH, Wd Geo, and WdH. Usually, I wouldn't worry about something like this, but if you fail this, you have to take tutoring all year next year. And that's not something I'm looking forward to. That's right. My school is retarded. Not really news anymore, but...oh well.

I've been going over HP5 and HP6 with a fine-toothed comb to find some clues...especially HP6. They've probably got a lot of clues in them, and Rowling hinted that she left lots of them in the latter. I've been picking it apart, but not as much as those crazy analytical books of HP that are longer than the book itself. Clues about Lily Potter have been popping up, and I *think* I have something...it's a little farfetched, but I guess it's plausible. Don't feel like typing it all right now.

I got addicted to FFTA. It started on the Thurs. before Good Fri. We were doing absolutely nothing in French, and my friend is playing Harvest Moon on her GBA SP. So I know she has a GBA, and I borrow it to play that period. Happens the game in there was FFTA, so I got addicted...And then, since I don't have any kind of GB at all, I just borrowed her beat up GBA for the past week. Hah. But then I gave it back...and I've had withdrawal symptoms o.O. Nn, not really. But pretty close. I want an NDS Lite really bad right now, and I don't know how to quell that. Of course, my parents are trying to pound SAT stuff into my head instead, and are completely against any sort of gaming.

-----

Did you know PBS shows Monty Python? I watched the 'turning into scotsmen' thingy. With the blancmanges. Haha. I watched it before, but never gets old...My friend had the whole collection, and we were watching them until 3:00AM, but then I saw how much PBS sold them for...$200! The whole set of about 36 DVDs, but still! That's fucking crazy! And I wanted them...we just got a plasma tv...
 
------

Shit = Fertilizer
Fertilizer = Plant
Plant = Life

So: 

SHIT=LIFE

mood: blahblah
music: Metallica
 
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Attack of the Mutant Preserved Specimens  
10:52pm 26/03/2007
 
 
Bean
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, mutant specimens. Preserved in jars of formaldehyde. One of which, some idiot broke and now the whole lab stinks. Pity, since we're going to be having a lab practical tomorrow.

I suppose, in times like these, it's a good thing to be mildly congested. Which, oddly, I'm not. Unlike the other 355 days of the year (no, I don't talk like that either).

Long posts are good. They help relieve the mind and dull the senses.

But I guess short posts are good when you need it. Should be studying for that practical tomorrow. Hnn. But can't seem to put my mind to it, really, at 11:00 at night.

Ah well.

-Oyasuminasai-
mood: apatheticapathetic
 
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Snow...er, Ice Day  
05:39pm 17/01/2007
 
 
Bean
Since it's not gonna snow here anytime soon (last time was...2004? 05? Somewhere there. I forget.) we have a day off for ice. Everyone is elated, but I'm just sitting here and relaxing, because we're definetely having a make-up day for this. I just hope it's not anytime soon. And that it doesn't cut into Spring Break.

Walter Kase--I was going to talk about him. He wasn't nearly as affecting as I thought he would be, and I didn't really hear anyone around me sobbing loudly (which actually gives the illusion that they're not a bunch of ridiculously sensitive wusses). However, later in the day I asked my (girl)friends and, yes, they'd found it touching, close to tears, heard people crying, blah blah blah. Well, the auditorium is pretty big and there were two "showings", so I guess that's possible.

His actual speech was heavily accented (I think he said he's Polish) and filled with tears and emotion from himself. I was seated very far from the stage, and couldn't really see his face, but he did say he is 77 years old. I'm sure he has some stuff out on the web, you'll get the gist of it if you read a summary. The presentation was only an hour long, after all, and one reads a lot faster than one speaks.

I've been really bothered lately. My parents just woke up one morning on the wrong side of the bed, most likely. And then, being the lazyass I am, I woke up around noon and heard the last of their shouting, then they feel silent. I thought they were just sulking (which is, probably, more or less accurate) until the barbershop. Afterwards, my dad dyed his own hair. (Premature whites. He's never done that by himself before, always had mom help him. And he did a fairly cruddy job, but that's beside the point.)

So Dad is the quiet, introverted type who gets headaches whenever you talk to him for over an hour. After the barbershop day, though, he was even more so than he was. And Mom appeared to be less affected, still talking to me normally and laughing and all that fake crap.

I thought, at first, that I would let them work it out themselves, like they'd always done, but it's been a week. A whole fucking week, and they haven't even LOOKED at each other.

So I was all, what the hell. I'll talk to mom. Because, as I mentioned earlier, she was maintaining an open facade already. Using it to my advantage would be no problem.

She told me. It's an old animosity with the in-laws. Over the silliest and deadliest of all human possessions: money. They aren't in the best of situations, and we have to send them money regularly. She told me she wanted to send ___ amount of money, and she has 2 parents and a rather large extended family mooching off of them. My dad, on the other hand, only has a mom and his siblings/large, extended family gives money as well. He wanted to send the same amount as Mom.

So my Mom asked why, and inexplicably, he started using really stupid excuses (thousands of dollars of coal!). She didn't buy it, he got mad. They had a pussy-fight.

Both of my parents work, and they both make around the same amount of money. They pool their money, though, for family matters such as this.

I doubt that she really "asked" why; more like "demanded loudly". She also brought up how my dad's parents were verbally cruel to her because of some old village beliefs, and how Dad witnessed it at the time, yet did nothing about it, and when asked, conjured up more stupid excuses (I didn't hear!).

Dragging up something like that...well, it's more like, "Hey, your mom is extremely, rudely partial(which she actually is) to people. So she's a bad person. So she deserves less money anyway, since she's one person and my parents are two people."
I wouldn't have taken that very kindly either, so I don't blame him.

However, I do blame him for probably not listening to her excuses. He isn't very short tempered, rather the opposite, but when it comes to family, he can be protective. I suppose some of that came out.

I have my own theory: that my dad grew up with his mom, and since his mom is so "cruel", he might have felt threatened and maybe...was brainwashed? After all, it's easy to be brainwashed by your parents when you're small. You know that feeling when your parents are telling you to do something, or else. And maybe if he doesn't send her that much money (for her to live in 'luxury', like Mom claims) that she'll start disliking him or something. I know a lot of people feel that way with their parents (well, at least some of my closer friends have told me so). It doesn't seem that likely, unless I ask him. When I brought it up to my mom, though, she vehemently refused the idea and stated with a fervor that he's going to turn me away, definetely will, and is going to say I'm only a child, I don't understand, etc. I'm regretting asking her in the first place about it, so I got discouraged from asking him. But there's still an overwhelming chance that will happen, in the state he's in (if I know anything about my dad).

A kid...? As if. I understand the situation perfectly, and would have four+ years ago. Their definition of understanding, however, might have been to see it from their point of view. I believe I'm a bit more open-minded than them right now, and a little more unbiased. I might not have experienced some of it, but that makes only a miniscule difference, and as long as I have heard it, I can process it perfectly.

So my mind is stuck in a rut, spinning around on a broken record. Hate? Nope. Animosity? Hardly. Divorce? Been threatened with it so many times before, I can't count.

No, it's the tension that kills me.

I hate this.
mood: stressedstressed
music: Remedy--Seether
 
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Shakespeare and the Holocaust  
05:01pm 10/01/2007
 
 
Bean
In English, we're reading this 'original' yet tampered version of Romeo and Juliet, as well as the Merchant of Venice. I tell you, those footnotes are my lifeline. It would be cool to fall into the pattern of his language and start talking like that...but unfortunately, nobody would understand me.

There is going to be a speaker at my school tomorrow. He is a Jew, and will be talking about the Holocaust, genocide, Auschwitz, and basically his whole life story.

As a result, this whole week has had shorter classes and lots of talking about prejudice, the victim-perpetrator-bystander-rescuer triangle (with victim in the center), a couple of badly-written, impersonal poems devoid of feeling.

They say don't be prejudiced, because they know you are. There is a good reason we, as a species, are prejudiced, and have the ability to be easily prejudiced. If zebras weren't prejudiced about lions and cheetas, they wouldn't be alive. Likewise, if we weren't prejudiced about a certain race or social group, we wouldn't be nearly as efficient in making friends--our trial-and-error times would be cut into less than half, because it is true. Those of certain appearances do tend to act a certain way, and are more or less associated with certain personalities you might or might not be comfortable with. It's the way of life. So, if you do force yourself to make friends with a certain clique, you will most likely find yourself regretting it, and perhaps even making a few enemies. There are some that are nicer than you might think within groups you don't like, or vice versa. But that's a rather small loss.

I don't mean make judges upon solely what others say...but judge by actions and words, by observation. Sure, if you wish to acquaint yourself with these people still, go ahead. You might find yourself having an affinity for them after awhile. People's personalities change. It's called acquired taste.

They say don't be a bystander, be a rescuer. Don't just stand there watching people getting beaten up (which is what most people do for school fights and such) but get in, break it up. "How inhumane," they might say. "The victim doesn't deserve it, they need you."

True. But why not intervene in the first place? Because if you do, you will make yourself a part of the fight, and there is an increased chance the bully/perp will unleash some of his anger on you. So why get involved helping someone you might not even know? It's their business, let them settle it. And if one of them gets hurt, well, it wasn't you. (I know that sounds a bit cold...but that's called self preservation.)

If it's someone you know, and you simply can't bear to see them in that kind of situation, the best thing would be to call as much attention to the fight as possible so the authorities would notice, or if it's somewhere remote, alert the police. Don't go in yourself, even it's a school fight. Especially a school fight. You go to school with these people everyday, and if you establish bad relations with the perp, well, you've got another few years to live it off.

There are other arguements, and minor other issues I will not discuss (like how we're so 'accepting' of everyone when we're little. Well, even then we're scared of some objects and adults, and we only accept other small children of different race because most likely, we haven't learned our prejudices yet, and the child is, after all, a child. It's harmless.)

I don't know about you, but I find it exasperating when others ask for the impossible. Especially when they ask it of you.
mood: discontentdiscontent
music: Stone Sour--Sillyworld
 
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Finally  
06:31pm 04/01/2007
 
 
Bean
Finally, my stupid computer is allowing me to post. Ah.

Break is over, though. Sadly. Damn. I wish it could last longer.

I tried to learn some Japanese over the break too. It's seemingly a lot easier than English...and Chinese. I'll see how it goes :)

Well, I'll be back later. If time/my computer allows.
location: Planet Earth
mood: calmcalm
music: Dir en Grey: The Final
 
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Finals  
06:03pm 14/12/2006
 
 
Bean
Gack! Not only can't I decide what I'm exempting, I also get very easily influenced depending on who I'm talking to at the moment.

My computer messes up every time I go to "write a journal entry". I don't know why...does anyone? If you happen to come and actually read this stuff, that is.
 
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